Every morning after you wake up, the first thing you should do is lie.
Lie to yourself. Lie to your family. Lie to your friends. Lie to your coworkers.
The problem with claiming to be authentic is that it can transform into a false excuse. When this happens it starts acting like an anchor that keeps us from achieving our true potential.
Have you ever caught yourself saying any of the following?
“I’m not smart enough to accomplish that”
“I’m not brave enough to follow my dreams”
“I’m just not made to be in a great relationship”
That’s not really you saying all those things. People aren’t born insecure. People aren’t born anxious. People aren’t born thinking they are less than everybody else.
Self-doubt doesn’t come from our direct experience. It comes from the opinion of those around us. That’s why successful people always succeed and the unsuccessful ones always blame. You become a reflection of your closest environment.
The longer you identify with feeling down you start believing it. You might even think that this is how you should feel all the time. Sinking into negativity brings a sense of comfort. We feel at ease when we are sinking in our couch in a gloomy room contemplating what’s wrong with us. In a weird way, we might even end up getting addicted to the feeling because it’s the only thing we are familiar with.
We are afraid of change because then we might not know who we are anymore. We lose our only anchor to what we perceive as reality. We feel like we are losing our authenticity. Just the thought of moving away from the usual path makes all the voices in our head come crashing down on us:
“How dare you think you can achieve that?”
“Who do you think you are acting so confident?”
“Come back down to earth and enjoy the comfort of perpetual dissatisfaction.”
Imagine you have a friend who tells you that he just met the love of his life. His knees go all soft every time he sees her. He shares with you that if she would only accept him for being needy and desperate then she would be accepting the real him. It makes no sense at all and she would probably break all land speed records running in the opposite way.
If being authentic means holding on to an identity that doesn’t serve you any good then you should be a liar instead.
Do you want to be more charismatic but dread the idea of talking to people? Lie to yourself each day that you are the most interesting and charming person alive. Eventually, your actions will follow your thoughts and you will work towards becoming that person.
Do you want to take that big opportunity but have no idea how to start? Lie that you are totally capable of delivering the results then work hard each day and figure out how to make it happen. That’s how your growth will skyrocket.
Whenever you feel like you are slipping back into the soft comfort of negativity tell yourself a lie.
You are not broken. You are not lacking. You don’t need fixing.
A lie is only considered deceiving until it becomes the truth.