Happiness is a choice that you need to actively make each day.
1. Don’t be addicted to your negative self
Some people are so used to always feel bad about themselves that whenever they get a glimpse of what it’s like to feel good they panic and immediately try to find out the “wrong” in that situation because the feeling of positivity is something too much out of the comfort zone for them. They start rationalizing how they did this one thing great but then screwed up 10 more things on the side, that could have been done better. They become uneasy because they are not identified with feeling good. A lot of us make the mistake of misunderstanding the concept of “delayed gratification” and think that if we are unhappy now, we will be even happier later but that’s just plain wrong. With time,acknowledge that and accept it, catch yourself when you are trying to hide back into the safe zone of feeling negative and shed your limiting identity.
2. Leverage your strengths
If more people would just, on expanding themselves to the highest level instead of trying to patch their weaknesses they would be much happier and ahead in life. Instead of focusing on your lacks, on what you are missing and feeling like you are never enough, let go and focus on expanding your strengths. Your weaknesses are there for a reason, to steer you towards your greatness. The moment you accept them, you accentuate your strengths and your life goes on the offense.
3. Don’t confuse action with motion
Decide what you want to do and work incrementally towards achieving that. Instead of, take clear action steps towards your purpose. Feeling like you are always doing so much and keeping yourself busy is a waste of energy. Focus on the 20% of actions needed to accomplish 80% of what matters. This rule might sound like a cliché, but sometimes the biggest truths hide under the obvious reasons. A windmill might look like it’s spinning so fast, but still, it doesn’t go anywhere.
4. Be at the cause, not at the effect
Instead of always reacting from your environment and from the triggers that other people give you, set the rhythm of how you want to live your life. Stop asking for permission from others to be great and to do the things that bring you joy because your happiness will always be dictated by other factors out of your control. You will be at the effect of various circumstances. When you choose to stand by your values and your core beliefs, when you are congruent in your thoughts and actions you will set the rhythm and the effect for everything happening around you, like ripples in the water. When you are the cause, nothing can phase you, because everything you do and feel becomes a choice. In return, youto everyone around you.
5. Realize that you are enough.
Throw away the idea of living through checkpoints. I used to do this a lot and sometimes I still catch myself thinking it and immediately I readjust my thinking. I used to think that if I achieve Goal A then I could be finally happy or if I achieved Goal B then finally I will be in the place that I need to be. There was always something I needed to do in order to relax and finally enjoy the moment. You are the only one that can take authority over yourself, take control and realize that happiness comes from within, not from the chase of something else. Once you realize that, everything else follows. There is always. Learn to accept it. There is no need to run around always looking for the next validation point. You are enough now. Relax. It’s part of the journey.
Stop putting your life on hold and just live.
It’s a choice.